Bees and Calligraphy

Bees and Calligraphy

In my spare time I like to improve my yodeling.

First a few personal facts regarding the differences between bees and calligraphy:

1. I have never been stung in the face by calligraphy.
2. I have never gotten a D on an art project written in bee.

Good things about bees:

1. If you don’t happen to have any Crazy Stinging Amazonian Bastard Ants, Africanized killers bees will work in a pinch.
2. It is hysterical when a bee stings a mime.
3. Pollination. Bees pollinate a vast array of plants, helping to propagate many types of fruits and flowers. I’m also pretty sure Donald Trump’s hair is some sort of hive.
4. They make honey, that sweet nectar byproduct without which Pooh bear would have never gotten his head caught in a honey pot, in that adorable image by A. A. Milne.  If it weren’t for that image, I’d have nothing tattooed to my left butt cheek.

Good things about calligraphy:

1. Because of calligraphy, nib manufacturing is still a thriving business in Bangladeshian sweat shops.
2. Without calligraphy wedding invitations would have to be written in silly fonts.
3. Anything written in calligraphy looks super classy; like William Shakespeare threw up on a piece of paper. (It’s how the entire first act of Much Ado About Nothing was written.)

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