Does my home look like an animal shelter to you!?!

 We live in the country. OK, to be more accurate, we live in the sticks. There are a ton of bonuses to being on the outskirts of civilization, like having a tree at the ready for those potty emergencies when someone else is hoggin’ up the ONE bathroom in a house filled with way more than one bathroom hog.

 Sadly, there are also a few not-so-bonus things about living where we do. For instance, when folks know there’s little speed-gun presence, they tend to drive like bats outta hell on roads with no shoulder to swerve onto, should a stupid animal darts into their path. In the last 8 years, we’ve seen three deer-car collisions, cleaned up more wildlife than you can shake a stick at (that’s country talk for, “a LOT!”) after they failed to win their game of chicken with the cars, and lost more pets than I care to count.

 Word also travels fast out here, meaning EVERYONE knows where that one crazy animal lady calls home and they have little to no qualms about dumping animals in or around her yard. (A few months ago, someone dumped a chicken in our yard. No flippin’ joke!) We’ve sadly witnessed idiots stop in the road in front of our house and toss a half-grown cat out their window. MORE THAN ONCE...Keep on readin'

Funny Animal Hospital Signs!

I know that many members of The Dumbass Horde are lovers of a vast array of God's Little Critters. 

But I am not here today to write about children.

Or midgets. 

I am specifically referring to creatures of a four-legged, reptilian or piscatorial nature. Note: my favorite Dumbass News story is about the New Years Eve Possum Drop in North Carolina.

Usually when I write about animals, it's just to piss of the meth heads at PETA. 

However, today I am extending an olive branch to the meth heads at PETA by bringing us all (non-meth head non-PETA members & meth head PETA members alike) together with something each of us has in common with the other - a love of animals.

I like my animals medium rare, PETA likes theirs virgin.

Well....not exactly animals per se, rather with humorous signs that have been spotted in front of veterinary clinics across the Fruited Plain. 

What say you, PETA? Can we bury the hatchet?

Preferably smack dab in the middle of your mush-filled skulls!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!

On that happy note........

Welcome to The First Ever Edition of Dumbass Animal Hospital Signs!

Read the rest.....