Giant Sucking Sound: Dumbass Siphons Sewage, Not Gas, From R V!

It is for the newer Dumbasses that I bring back one of the funniest (and most popular!) stories in the History of Dumbass News!

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Dumbass Does Drugs, Sets Self on Fire, Puts Fire Out in Car Wash! But, Wait, There's More!

Before I get into today's story, I'd like to thank pixie c d, aka, Chris Dean, for yesterday's hilarious guest post. It was one of the most popular Guest Posts in the History of Dumbass News! If you have any more (and I know you do!) Dumbassery to share with the Dumbass Horde, Chris, you are more than welcome to further embarrass yourself on this blog at any time.

Also, a huge shout out to all of Chris' readers at pixie c d for taking time to come over, read Chris' post and leave some terrific comments. I hope y'all will stop by again.

I have traveled to, through and/or lived in over 30 of the fifty States in the Union.

North Dakota fills none of those bills.

For the Yoopers in the audience, that means "I ain't never been there." 

Therefore, I don't know a helluva lot about The Dakota On Top.

I do, however, know that North Dakota is home to less than 750,000 people and the do a lot of oil bidness there.

There is a small town of about 18,000 North Dakota-ites, most of them White North Dakota-ites, named Mandan. I have never before heard of this burg.

Can You Show Me to the Nearest Car Wash, Please?

Until now.

Thanks to a Dumbass.

I'd like to thank David Kissee for this.

Let me splain.

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Dumbass Short Story - Bad Guy: "The Pot in the Stolen Car Ain't Mine!"

They say that brevity is the Soul of Wit.

If that's the case, today's story is a real Footstomper.

"Footstomper" is a Dumbass Way of saying "knee slapper".

"Knee slapper" is a Non-Dumbass Way of saying "funny as hell".

Therefore let us sally forth with stomping of feet and slapping of knees.

And the laughing off of asses.

The Brevity

• Guy gets involved in disturbance.  
• Cops are called.
• Guy leaves scene of disturbance.
• Police locate Guy as he drives away from altercation.
• Guy gets pulled over.

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Canadian-ite Dumbasses: Fast Food Fooks Up Your Brain, Eh? By Fearless Leader!

I was an unmarried Fearless Leader for many years before I met and eventually got hitched to Mrs. Fearless Leader.

In those days, I did all The Things Necessary for Survival, myself.

I cleaned my house, drank beer, did my own laundry, drank beer, cooked and drank more beer.

I'm a pretty good cook, but I don't do it much anymore since I got hitched to Heather, but back in The Old Days I was known to cook a damn good T-Bone, make a bad ass pot of red beans and put together some Mucho El Good-o Meskin Cornbread.

And drink a shit load more cold beer.

Let me tell you, it's hard work being a Single Fearless Leader doing all The Things Necessary for Survival and drinking all that beer.

To be honest, though, I didn't cook a helluva lot, just when I felt like it. Or when I wanted a T-Bone or a bad ass pot of red beans and a side of Meskin Cornbread. I often ate at fast food joints such as Whataburger, McDonalds or Taco Bell.

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