Clash of the Couples Cover Reveal!

HO-LY CRAP, y’all! It’s FINALLY here - Clash of the Couples cover reveal day!

Coupledom. Fact or fable, Adam and Eve birthed the perpetual relationship drama as seen on TV today. Despite the serpents, this couple HAD IT MADE. Luxury real estate, lush gardens, and privacy out the yin-yang. Life was glorious until that bare-bottomed babe could no longer resist temptation. Despite her better half’s warnings and threats to sleep in a tree, she tasted the forbidden fruit. One bite of that seductive, juicy contraband and the stage was set for eternity— a nibble that has blossomed into an endless supply of tiny tidbits that divide lovers to this day!

 Taking a cue from the naked explorers of authentic sin, Clash of the Couples is a new anthology featuring a collection of completely absurd lovers’ squabbles and relationship spats. Think couples fight over kids, sex, and money? Think again! Furniture, the last beer, and where to store the placenta are what genuinely ignite our feuds. And no argument is off limits. This book has it all!

 Inside you’ll find a gut-busting compilation of stories such as: “I Can’t Believe You Ate My Sandwich," "Never Assume Anything," "Only I Can Talk About Me," and "You Want Some College Boobs?" from forty-three fearless writers. Prepare to laugh, roll your eyes, and shiver in suspense. While Eve may have had the first bite, we ate the whole damn tree. And made pies.

 Published by Blue Lobster Book Co., Clash of the Couples launches loudly and obnoxiously on November 3, 2014. You’ll hear us coming, but look for it on Amazon, B&N, Apple, and other places where you typically buy books. For instant updates, follow along on Facebook!

 For a list of all the authors and where on the interwebz y'all can find 'em, keep on readin'...

Heather's "New England Boiled Dinner in a Crock Pot" Video Recipe!

My wife Heather made a traditional New England Supper for us tonight.

Here's the video she made for it.

You've gotta give this a try! It's mama-slappin' good!

Karma can strangle too!

Y'all, this made me laugh hard!! Dumbass steals a snake from Petco, then drives her getaway Prius. The snake then proceeds to WRAP ITSELF AROUND HER NECK! She apparently loses control of said Prius and crashes into a firehouse. I love Karma!!!

Photo courtesy: 6abc.com

Woefully Inadequate Preparation

Woefully Inadequate Preparation

Useless knowledge when you’re about to be cut.

This occurred while I was working as a quality control inspector at a steel coating plant near Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I was sitting at my desk filling out paperwork–paperwork that I’m sure was vital to the daily functioning of the plant, and not be interrupted–when the crane operator, Jim, burst into the office.

“We have a problem,” he barked.

Jim tended to have problems more days than not. Urgent problems. Urgent problems of all varieties. (I could tell it was urgent because Jim was using his urgent voice. His urgent voice was similar to his whiny voice, but an octave higher.)

I looked around the office to discover I was the only one there. Crap.

“Houston,” I said to him.

“What?”

“When you burst into a room to exclaim that you have a problem, you’re supposed to say, ‘Houston, we have a problem.'”

“But we’re not in Houston.”

Note: nobody gets me.

“Never mind. What’s the problem?” I asked with genuinely feigned interest.

“Look at this,” he said as he shoved his phone at me. It was a picture of some temp workers standing outside on a smoke break.

“It’s a picture of some temp workers standing outside on a smoke break.” I said.

“You don’t see the problem?” He was incredulous.

“The threat of emphysema?”

“Look closer.” He shoved the phone at me again.

“Okay. They’re all smoking cigarettes, except for that little guy who seems to be holding…a crack pipe.”

“So you understand the problem now?”

“He’s not sharing with the others?”

“This is serious,” he snapped.

“Selfishness is a serious problem, Jim,” I admonished him.

“I can’t be operating a crane out there with people running around all hopped up on drugs.”

“Do people still use the phrase hopped up?”

“Are you going to do something or not?”

To find out if I did anything....http://idiotprufs.com/

Mrs. Fearless Leader's Video Recipe: Almost Miss Kay's Melt in Your Mouth Biscuits!

Heather, otherwise known as Mrs. Fearless Leader, has been away from her You Tube cooking channel for several weeks.

But, holy shit did she come back with a vengeance!

This is a must see video: Almost Miss Kay's Melt in Your Mouth Biscuits!

They are incredible!

You can find more of Heather's recipes on her blog, Mishmawsh and Other things. You can also connect with and follow her and other great Foodies on Facebook ---> right here. 

Be sure to leave a comment and let Heather know what you think and she is always open to sharing recipes from and with her followers! Also, be sure to subscribe to Heather's You Tube Channel (MishMawsh and Other things) so you don't miss out on some of the best eats ever!

Everything Changes - My Wife's Latest Video on You Tube!

My wife hasn't posted a new video on her cooking channel in a while.

In her new vid she explains why.

Thanks for viewing and be sure to follow Heather's (my wife) blog Mishmawsh and Other things, her Facebook page and of course her You Tube cooking channel, Mishmawshandotherthings . 

Heather's new recipe video will be based upon a recipe from Miss Kay of Duck Dynasty!

Stay tuned!

Taglines and more Taglines

Taglines and more Taglines

Because they haunt your dreams.

“Striving every day to do the least idiotic thing possible, generally failing.”

 

The above statement has been the tagline of this blog since its inception–sadly, it’s also been the guiding principle of my life–but it feels as if it’s time for a change. (For the tagline, my life’s a irreparable heap.)

So I’ve decided to try out a few alternatives:

idiotprufs: what happens when you don’t listen to that nagging little voice in your head.

idiotprufs: read by four out of five drunken monkeys-written by the fifth.

idiotprufs: the blog that is wanted by the authorities for questioning.

idiotprufs: just do it. (Evidently the people at Nike think they own everything.)

idiotprufs: the blog that got so drunk last night, it can’t remember anything it did.

idiotprufs: the last blog you will ever read…after you’ve stabbed your eyes out with a shrimp fork
.
idiotprufs: the blog that makes my friends deny they know me.

idiotprufs: the reason most of my family no longer speaks to me. (I wish I had started it sooner.)

idiotprufs: the reason I’ve been burned in effigy by Bolivian pudding makers.

idiotprufs: reading it will make your breath perpetually minty fresh.

idiotprufs: the blog labeled a bitter disappointment by its parents.

idiotprufs: the blog that was a banana slug in a previous life.

Read the rest...