Lower the Crime Rate by Giving Jury Duty Pay & GEDs to Gangstas!

That Drawer in the Kitchen is now open.

Today we will take a look at the American system of jurisprudence.

Our justice system, while occasionally flawed, is still the best system in the history of mankind. In our justice system a man is innocent until proven guilty by a jury of his peers. If he is found not guilty, he's a free man facing no further prosecution from the government.

This is as it should be.

GED Proud

In Cleveland, Ohio they do things a little differently when a man is found not guilty. They give the defendant  their jury duty pay!

Is this a great country or what?

But there is a catch to this "gift" to the Not Guilty Guy, because he seems like a nice young man, despite being charged with kidnapping and felonious assault.  The catch? Our juvenile delinquent has to get a GED ASAP.

This is a fine idea.

Except it is a fucking stoopid idea.

Why is it stoopid? What makes these dumbass jurors think that if this kid, who's 19 by the way, gets a GED that he'll have an epiphany and leave the gang life behind? With a GED this young hoodlum can go around Cleveland and shout to all whom will listen, "I got a GED! Now I can be a high school drop out with a GED and still do gang stuff to the citizens of Cleveland!"

Did I mention that the defendant was accused of kidnapping and felonious assault?

He may even start a trend amongst gangstas all over the country. The gangs will replace those stoopid looking red and blue bandanas hanging out the back pocket of their jeans with GED Certificates! And they'll owe all this pride in their new found GED to the jurors who were too damned stoopid to see guilt when it was staring right them in the eyes. Fucking asswipes. The new motto for the Bloods or the Crips can be: "We may be drug dealing, prostitute makin', extortionists and cold blooded killers, but we all have GEDs!!!" Now these Blights on Society can make change for a hundred on their next crack cocaine deal.

It's not out of the question that this young man, and others to follow, will be charged with another crime in the future and the verdict will be quite different.

I say we should lock the guilty bastards up and give them a sentence in line with their crime, put then on a chain gang and work the vermin until they drop from exhaustion every day for the duration of their sentences. Oh, yeah, and tell them to shove that GED up their asses, provided of course that they don't have something else shoved up their asses, if you know what I mean, and I think you do.

How's that GED shit workin' for you now, dickweeds?

These plagues of society are breathin' my air.


Case and That Drawer in the Kitchen are now closed.