The Big Family Picnic: The Aftermath

A lovely family having a picnic. This is not your family.

The holiday weekend has past, and the big family picnic over.

Your local emergency room has been taken off high alert and much of their staff has been given a well deserved vacation.

Once again your family has overtaxed their staff, frayed their nerves and extinguished their stock of gauze, sutures and eye patches.

Once again they’ve treated various members of your family for the following injuries, ailments and assorted issues:

• Contusions.
• Abrasions.
• Cuts.
• Lacerations.
• Puncture wounds.
• Broken bones.
• Bone bruises.
• Minor burns.
• Severe burns.
• Indian burns–you have an uncle that’s a jackass.
• Food poisoning.
• Alcohol poisoning.
• Lead poisoning.
• Radiation poisoning.
• Smoke inhalation.
• bite wounds–some animal, some human, some unidentifiable, and one that appears to be from a Bigfoot.
• Stab wounds.
• Gunshot wounds.
• Crossbow wounds.
• Ax wounds.
• One particularly gruesome wound seemingly caused by medieval mace.
• Asphyxiation in one individual who appears to have been strangled with a garter snake.
• One garter snake bite.
• Several cases of acute mental distress.
• One case of a crippling fear of barbecue implements.

Once again your uncle brought his trunk full of games/weapons:

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