HJOj_SKjmQIGQwfbde_0DpO42c0 That Drawer in the Kitchen: "I'm Just so Happy to be Here" By Idiot-prufs

Wednesday, March 12, 2014

"I'm Just so Happy to be Here" By Idiot-prufs

Idiot: a dolt, a dullard, a mentally deficient person, the guy who drives down the road with his seatbelt hanging from the door making sparks on the road.
Idiot-pruf: Any lesson learned as the direct result of an overt act of idiocy or the observation of an overt act of idiocy.
Example: If you don't want to be mocked by your friends; don't drive down the road with your seatbelt hanging from the door making sparks on the road.

I can hardly contain my excitement at the prospect of my blog, idiot-prufs, joining the contents of That Drawer in the Kitchen. I'm feeling dizzy with giddiness, my palms are sweaty, my head is swimming and my stomach is in knots. And I'm almost certain it has nothing to do with my dysentary.

Let's examine the contents found in a typical kitchen drawer:
  • Assorted rubber-bands.
  • A flashlight with no batteries.
  • Batteries.
  • A roll of unused Mr. Yuk stickers.
  • A scrap of paper with the number for the poison center hotline hastily scribbled on it.
  • That menu from the China Jade restaurant, that jams the drawer every time you try to open it.
  • $2.79 in Canadian coins. (Canadians just call them coins.)
  • That cool rock you found that is shaped just like a duck.
  • A pen that doesn't write.
  • A pen that writes but also leaks ink all over the place.
  • An empty bottle of stain remover.
  • An expired coupon for a bottle of stain remover.
  • A box of 20 ultra petite condoms. (My kitchen drawer is not your kitchen drawer; don't judge me.)
  • The manual for the toaster oven you threw away four years ago, after it caught on fire because you didn't follow the instructions in the manual.
  • A butt-load of irony.
  • Idiot-prufs the blog.
I'm just so happy to be here. Stay tuned.


Note: idiot-prufs has often been referred to as the juggernaut of the blogging world. Generally by me. Occasionally by others. But mostly by others when I lie about what others have said.

***Y'all Be Sure to Visit I.P.'s Blog - Idiot-Prufs ***

8 comments:

  1. Somebody has been spying on my Kitchen Drawer!

    Thanks for a terrific post, Idiot-Prufs!

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  2. And I left the embarrassing items off the list.

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  3. Yep, that pretty much sums up my kitchen drawer. Well, except for the condoms. The only rubbers in my kitchen are in the form of bands...

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  4. Your like Martha Stewart without the whole prison thing.

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  5. An interesting mix of contents; similar to my own but without the rubbers - my snip 20 years ago rendered those redundant.

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